Are You Making Decisions Out of Love or Fear?

Working with driven leaders has been my life for over three decades. It is one of my greatest joys. I happen to be one of them myself.

Being driven is a blessing and a curse. The blessing is that we are the creators of most things on this planet; we have superhuman stamina, and we are the superheroes who save the day. Many people rely on our decision-making.

The curse is that we do a lot of damage to ourselves and the people around us – emotionally, physically, and mentally. We tend to leave a black trail behind us with our ambition and intense desire to accomplish the many tasks at hand.

As leaders, we make substantially more decisions than most, and I’ve come to realize that many of our decisions are made out of fear. The root of that fear is now clear, which I will uncover in a moment. First, I’d like to create a little context.

Over the last 30 years, I have created five pieces of content to help driven leaders get everything they want out of their professional and personal lives:

  1. Entrepreneurial Leap – to help entrepreneurs-in-the-making
  2. Rocket Fuel – to help Visionaries and Integrators
  3. Traction – to help leaders run their business well
  4. The EOS Life – to help leaders live their ideal life
  5. The 10 Disciplines – to help leaders maximize their energy, impact, and inner peace

These five pieces of content help a leader manage their drive, make it to the top of the mountain, and succeed by every outer-world success metric: having a great career, people, money, stuff, and accolades.

In the last four years, however, I’ve had a new revelation.

I’ve now witnessed many leaders make the climb, ring the bell, and ask, “Is this all there is?” They feel unfulfilled, incomplete, empty, like something is missing. Reaching the destination that they’ve worked so hard to get to doesn’t give them the satisfaction they thought it would. They succeeded in their outer world but not their inner world.

I’m speaking firsthand here, as I had this same experience less than five years ago.

I’ve written a new book with my co-author, Rob Dube, called Shine: How Looking Inward Is the Key to Unlocking True Entrepreneurial Freedom.

This revelation led to three discoveries in the last four years that have given me tremendous inner peace, satisfaction, and fulfillment while increasing the impact I make. They are called the 3 Discoveries to Free Your True Self. They are as follows:

  • I Am Driven
  • Decisions Are Made Out of Love or Fear
  • It Is Possible to Be Driven and Have Peace

These 3 Discoveries take you on an inward journey of self-discovery, taking you inside to free anything from your past that is holding you back and then freeing you to fully be your True Self in the world.

The first discovery, I Am Driven, is about you realizing you are driven and understanding the blessing and the curse that I described above. It’s about realizing that being driven is in your DNA. Ten percent of the population has these genetics. As Dr. Doug Brackmann states in his great book Driven, “Your genetic difference can lead you to feel there is something wrong with you, and the associated shame can create a hellish existence.” He also says that “The driven are at risk for addictions they believe will provide relief.”

The second discovery, Decisions Are Made Out of Love or Fear, is about understanding the root of love- and fear-based decisions. To find the root, we have to dig deep. It starts with you realizing that love-based decisions come from your heart and soul (which we call True Self), and fear comes from your ego. Once you see this, you’ll realize that your ego has your True Self captive, trapped behind a suit of armor you created in the past to never feel pain again. Your ego’s intentions are good. It is trying to protect you. Once you realize this dynamic, you will see that it’s time to address some things from the past and let them go. You’ll see how past pain, trauma, stories, and conditioning have gotten you here, but they may not get you there. Once you shed the past, let go, and free your True Self (Rob and I share how to do this in great detail in the book), you will start making decisions from love, from the inside out. Once you shed, your energy is freed up and magnified, and you shine even brighter.

That takes us to the third discovery: It Is Possible to Be Driven and Have Peace. Unfortunately, most driven leaders do not feel enduring inner peace. In this discovery, you realize that your drive can exist while experiencing peace – that it is possible to be driven and have peace. It’s not one or the other. And the beauty is that with peace, you won’t lose your edge or drive. Just the opposite; it gets even stronger. When you shed what’s holding you back from the past, your drive will actually become greater because it will come from the inside out – from a calling, from your heart and soul – instead of from the outside in (ego), where your drive is coming from comparison, judgment, and competition. You get to a place we call “Flowt,” which is a combination of being in flow when you are working and a feeling of floating through life.

What I discovered is that you can go inside, shed, let go, and heal all that is preventing you from fully being your True Self, feeling peace, bliss, fulfillment, and satisfaction. By doing so, you will greatly increase your creativity and intuition and make more of your decisions from love and not fear. As a result, we, the driven leaders, become better spouses, parents, partners, bosses, peers, and friends, making an even bigger impact on the world.

The time is now. The world needs authentic leaders now more than ever. In this next era, let’s be healthier “True Self Leaders” and make an even bigger impact on the world while doing it with inner peace. We have the reach and ability to elevate the world.

Again, Rob and I show you exactly how to do it in Shine.

Take The True Self Assessment to see how free your True Self really is. We are introducing you to a simple, practical way to shed and shine. We are on this path with you. Join us on the journey.

Stay focused,

Become a Great Boss from your employees and the future of your company. Download the How to Be A Great Boss Toolkit

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