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Recently I was in a meeting where, after a long discussion, a decision was finally made to take action. The person who was most vocal in arguing against the action was asked whether or not he supported the decision. Even though it was apparent to the team that he was not on board, he said “I’m fine!” The owner called him out and asked him “Yes or no, do you support the decision?” The dissenter hesitated. The owner went on, “Whenever I hear someone say they’re fine what they mean to say is that they’re: Frustrated, Irritated, Not bought in, and Exasperated. So, is that what you meant by ‘Fine’?”

Years ago my wife and I bought a new home but couldn’t afford to add air conditioning. A year later I went to Sears and bought a central air conditioning unit. The unit came with a do-it-yourself guide with detailed instructions and clear illustrations. Although she was a bit skeptical about my handyman abilities I reassured her that the project would be easy.

While reviewing the company scorecard during a Level 10 Meeting, a member of the leadership team asked that two items be dropped to the Issues List. Both were related to revenue and had been off track for more than one week. When the issue came up during the resulting “IDS” portion of the meeting, several people tried to downplay the issue pointing to bad weather, increased competition, market pressure – even calling the person who raised the issue a pessimist and naysayer. “Well”, said the naysayer, “facts are facts, and we should understand what’s really going on here.”

In a former life I worked in large organizations where the HR department would conduct “360 Feedback Programs”. If you’re not familiar with this exercise it works like this: subordinates, peers and your boss are asked to fill out a form to provide “confidential” feedback on your behavior and performance. This is then shared with you by someone in HR. You’re expected to take the anonymous feedback as “constructive criticism” and then develop a plan to improve your effectiveness. This well-meaning exercise invariably leaves you dazed and confused and wondering what everyone really meant. See Patrick Lencioni’s book “The Four Obsessions of an Extraordinary Executive” for his perspective.

Ancient cultures had traditional dances whose purpose was to affect a positive outcome. There were dances to bring on rain, to make game plentiful or to ensure a bountiful harvest. These traditions became deeply engrained, especially after an occasional rain or bumper crop. Even the most cynical participant was reluctant to challenge tradition. It was probably easier to do the dance and go with the flow than to challenge the connection between the dance and the outcome.

Years ago when I was starting my business career I would occasionally meet my father-in-law at a small diner for what we called our “businessman’s lunch”. My father-in-law was a character. He often called his father-in-law “The Kaiser” after his German heritage. He had lots of nicknames for me as well but, I digress.