I need to tell you something uncomfortable. And before you read this and think, “That’s not me,” I’d ask you to sit with it for a minute. Because I’ve been guilty of this too.
A few weeks ago, I overheard a leadership team member venting to a colleague about a third leader’s behavior. The specifics don’t matter. What matters is what happened next: nothing. No one said a word to the person being discussed. The conversation stayed in the hallway. Behind the back. In the shadows.
And I stood there thinking: We teach this. We literally teach companies running on EOS to eliminate this exact behavior. And yet it still creeps in.
Let me be crystal clear: If you can’t be open, honest, and vulnerable with each other on your leadership team, you will never unlock the full power of EOS.
The Standard We Set
Go back to the basics. In Traction, Gino wrote that you must be “open-minded, growth-oriented, and vulnerable” to embark on the EOS journey. He learned the hard way that when a leadership team wasn’t willing to be vulnerable, “we accomplished very little because it was a constant battle to make decisions and discuss difficult issues.”
Open and honest is a baseline requirement. It’s at the very root of how you build a healthy, functional leadership team.
So here’s the question: Are you holding yourselves to that standard? Because when you’re not, stress cracks form.
How It Creeps In
It usually doesn’t start with bad intentions. It starts with discomfort.
You see a fellow leadership team member doing something that concerns you, and instead of addressing it directly, you mention it to someone else “just to get perspective.”
You’re frustrated with your Visionary or Integrator, and instead of having the hard conversation, you vent to another leader. Someone says something in a Level 10 Meeting that doesn’t sit right, and rather than IDS it properly, you talk about it afterward with a smaller group.
That’s triangulation.
The People book says it plainly: “Drama and negativity are the inevitable travel companions of secrets. Secrets, whispered complaints, and purposeless venting are right at home in a culture rooted in scarcity and fear.”
Read that again. Scarcity and fear. That’s the soil secrets grow in. And when that soil takes root on your leadership team, trust starts to erode.
You tell your people that issues get solved at the leadership level. You tell them you value transparency. You tell them there’s no politics here.
But you endorse what you tolerate.
“Are You Going to Tell Them, or Am I?”
There’s a simple line that can change everything: “Are you going to tell them, or am I? Because one of us is going to tell them.”
That’s the line. That’s the standard.
When someone comes to you with a complaint about another team member, you don’t let them vent and walk away. You ask that question. And then you make sure the conversation happens.
It eliminates the option of doing nothing. It forces the issue into the open where it belongs.
When was the last time you said that to someone on your team?
When was the last time someone said it to you?
If you can’t remember, that’s a red flag.
Not because there are no issues. There are always issues. The red flag is that they may be going underground, discussed in the wrong rooms, with the wrong people, in the wrong way.
You’ve probably told your team before: “If you’re complaining to me, I’m ready to listen. But I don’t keep secrets.” Or, “Why are you telling me this? Shouldn’t you be bringing it up with the person directly involved?”
Time to live it.
Why This Matters More Than You Think
This isn’t about being nice. It’s not about harmony. It’s about health.
All progress starts with telling the truth. Reality has a way of crashing in if you ignore it. To solve issues permanently, you have to be in touch with what is actually going on.
If your leadership team won’t practice open, honest communication with each other, you’ll never get healthy conflict. You’ll get politics. You’ll get factions. You’ll get side conversations and slow erosion of trust.
And here’s the bigger danger: when issues go underground in your organization, the community stops self-correcting. The EOS Formula describes a community that is “self-correcting and policing” with “no place to hide” where “iron sharpens iron.” That only works when you’re willing to tell each other the truth.
Without direct, honest feedback flowing in every direction, three things happen:
First, accountability erodes. If no one is willing to tell a teammate they’re off track, drifting from your Core Values, or not living up to their seat, small issues become big ones.
Second, trust breaks down. A team that talks behind each other’s backs is a team that eventually stops trusting each other.
Third, growth stops. Your biggest growth opportunities as a leader come from feedback you don’t want to hear. When that feedback goes to someone else instead of to you, you’re robbed of the chance to get better.
What EOS Looks Like in Practice
Being open, honest, and vulnerable doesn’t mean being harsh. It means being kind and clear.
Here’s what it looks like:
When you see something that concerns you about a fellow leader, go to them directly. Not to your spouse. Not to your favorite team member. Not to another department head. To the person. Pick up the phone. Schedule the meeting. IDS it.
When someone comes to you with a complaint about another leader, use the line: “Are you going to tell them, or am I?” Don’t help them hide. That’s not helping.
When you receive direct feedback, receive it as a gift. Even if it stings. Especially if it stings. The person who tells you the truth to your face is helping you grow.
When you’re in your Level 10 Meetings, create a safe environment where real issues can be put on the Issues List without fear. If your meetings aren’t a place where people can be genuinely vulnerable and receive honest feedback, you’re just going through the motions.
A Hard Truth
Every leadership team believes they value openness. Fewer actually practice it when it’s uncomfortable. The moment you allow side conversations to replace direct ones is the moment your culture starts to slip.
EOS is designed to be self-correcting. But it only works if you’re willing to enter the danger. That doesn’t just apply to financial issues or performance gaps. It applies to relationships. It applies to tension. It applies to the conversation you’ve been avoiding.
You have hard conversations because you genuinely care about people. Caring about someone means telling them the truth, not protecting them from it.
Your Purity Check
When was the last time you had a direct, honest conversation with someone on your leadership team about something difficult? And when was the last time you let one slide?
The answer tells you everything you need to know about the health of your team.
The next time someone comes to you with a complaint about another leader, you can nod along and let it die in the hallway. Or you can look them in the eye and say: “Are you going to tell them, or am I?”
Reinforcing the Standard Every Day
Setting a standard for open, honest communication is one thing. Following through on it consistently is another.
Most leadership teams agree with the idea. They want transparency. They want trust. They want issues handled directly. But in the moment, when a conversation feels uncomfortable or inconvenient, a different choice gets made. A concern is redirected. A comment is shared with the wrong person. Something that should have been said out loud stays unspoken.
Those moments shape how the team actually operates.
EOS Academy helps keep that standard present in the day-to-day. It reinforces what healthy behavior looks like in real situations, so the right response is easier to act on when it matters most. Instead of relying on intention, your leadership team has a consistent reference point for how to handle conversations, feedback, and tension.
Over time, that reinforcement shows up in how the team works together. Conversations happen more directly. Issues are addressed with the right people. Trust builds because nothing is left sitting in the background or carried into side discussions.
Inside EOS Academy, you’ll find short, focused lessons and practical tools that support how your leadership team communicates, solves issues, and holds each other accountable. It creates a shared understanding across the team, so the standard is reinforced the same way every time.
